The 4 Stages of Notoriety

‘There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny.  It’s all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.’  ~ Han Solo

I used to read a lot of Eastern philosophy and for a time thought of myself as something of a deep character, committed to high art, who believed in things like karma, connectedness and so on.

Recently, I began training to be a Yoga teacher.  I have since discovered an uncomfortable truth about myself: I don’t believe in karma, Brahman or that ‘things happen for a reason.’  I don’t believe that ‘eternal Love’ is the underlying force behind everything.

I don’t believe art has any inherent meaning.

Humans are very good at telling stories and the aforementioned is little more than stories we tell ourselves to make a chaotic, meaningless world seem more bearable.

I’ve come to the realisation that the stories have no basis in fact; and that suffering, chaos and meaninglessness are the truth of it all.  There is no ascension into nirvana, merely a gradual, painful decay into a hole in the ground and eternal blackness.

They say money can’t buy you happiness.  I completely disagree.  Stick 10 million quid in my hands right now and I’ll guarantee you I’ll be happy.

Andy Warhol was utterly vapid; Damien Hirst is all about the money – unquestionably the two greatest artists of all time.

This has led to the realisation that I am less Luke Skywalker, believing in ‘the Force,’ and more Han Solo ‘I expect to be well paid, I’m in it for the money.’

I am a scoundrel.

Hence, I am selling the painting above for £10 000, 000 (approximately $12 075 830).

Now, before you scream ‘rip-off!’  Please hear me out.

Whether or not it is worth that is immaterial.

Art is all about the 4 Stages of Notoriety:

1) An obscure, unknown artist puts an inflated price tag on an obscure, unknown painting of questionable artistic merit.
2) The painting sells for a huge amount of money, which causes uproar in the media.
3) The artist in turn becomes obscenely wealthy, disappears and is never heard from again.
4) The object of this outrageous transaction, the painting, becomes the subject of much debate, essays, PhD theses etc. which in turn makes it into a priceless artefact sought after by museums the world over, as thousands line-up to take a selfie in front of it and post on Instagram, not to mention the many parodies that find their way into everything from banal comedy shows and stupid TV adverts to Match of the Day monologues.

Thus the person who shells out £10 000, 000 (approximately $12 075 830) has made a very clever investment indeed while the artist in question, the unknown (and questionably talented) Percival Alexander, achieves their one sole aim of making lots of money.

It’s win, win … ‘good karma,’ you might say.

Anyone interested in making said purchase then contact me via email in the About section.

Let’s cause some ‘controversy.’

December 2022

© Percival Alexander